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Casually Explained: Alcohol

Alcohol is one of the most socially widespread drugs and it’s been part of human culture for thousands of years and this is for pretty evident reasons for anyone who’s tried it before you’ll notice that alcohol quickly makes you better at many things including temporarily talking to girls and thinking you can jump down more stairs than you actually can now whether it’s at a party or you’ve responsibly waited until you’re of legal age I think most teenagers and young adults are pretty excited to have their first drink but is anything you’ll find out soon enough is that your first drunk experience is always one of the least memorable also keep in mind that many people have bad formative experiences with a certain alcohol and say things like I’m never drinking vodka again while you think you mean it this decision is made by your logical brain and has no bearing on the future actions of your drunk brain of course many new drinkers worried that they’re drinking too much and don’t want to develop bad habits my friend thought she might have a problem because her family always buys her liquor store gift cards but you don’t need to worry when people buy you gift cards for the liquor store you need to worry when they stop buying you gift cards for the liquor store now a downside of alcohol is how expensive it is another downside is that one of the effects of alcohol is making you not care about what things cost fortunately though one of the upsides is that one of the effects of alcohol is making you forget to pay for things so you have to take your wins with your losses so when you’re consuming alcohol you need to be aware of your level of intoxication which someone might ask you for to gauge where you or the group is at 3 out of 10 is a small buzz and you can definitely feel something happening six to seven point five is the Goldilocks zone where you feel charismatic energized and excited to do things pass the eight out of ten no one will ask because they can already tell and you start saying things like why are your eyes so far apart to someone’s boobs and 11 out of 10 where everything goes black time no longer exists and you teleport to new locations with that in mind the effective alcohol can be different for different individuals and from my experience there are fundamentally three types of drunk people people who are their usual selves but better people who seem exactly the same but can’t walk properly and people who immediately find a reason to say they love you fight someone try to have sex with someone or cry so one thing you’ll have to deal with eventually whether you drink or not is your friend passing out when this happens you’ll notice that everyone else will do one of two things help them or draw a dick on their forehead this is a good way to check your social circle for whether or not you have good friends depending on what they did first and the size of the dick now at the end of the night remember that alcohol dehydrates you so it’s really important to drink lots of water a good strategy is to know what you usually weigh in the morning and drink enough water to bring yourself up to that weight at night in practice I find I don’t always have the clarity of my do that so you can also sit under the showerhead with your mouth open wondering where you went wrong so the next morning depending on your age and hydration you might experience a hangover a hangover as your body telling you you’re an idiot and shouldn’t be doing this anymore and the only thing that can make it go away is hashbrowns so with that said always consume responsibly and hit up Costco if you don’t have any in your freezer you